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Saturday, September 24, 2022

His rage & rant

I never apologised yet, you forgave me, believing in the good in me 

I never said goodbye and you thought I did this, for your good

I never realised the pain you went through for days and months and years

I never believed that the love you had, have and will have for me won't end. Ever.


But you know,  Right? It’s all your fault, you misunderstood, and it has nothing to do with me.


How can you trust each word I uttered, I thought you were just flattered

How can you be so foolish to believe in what I told and not what I did

How can you be this naive, I told you, the world doesn't work this way

How can you be such an idiot, not to differentiate between the night and the day 


Remember, I told you this is not our destiny my friend. You still fed me admiration.


You say you can see through me, even behind the masks I wear

How the hell, did you not know, this is what I do when I fear 

I asked you to wait and we will talk about it only after a year

After so long! You mad girl, you are still,  standing still, there


Oh no, I cannot decode the emotions or read between the lines, be direct. 


What do I do with you, how do I get you off my back

Why don't you just go away and vanish somewhere in the dark 

Why do I have to take care of you and talk to you nice 

It scares me to death, the way you extract the truth out of my mouth


I am a happy-go-lucky person, living in the present who doesn't want to dig deeper. Period.


Why can't you listen to what I want you to, by any chance? 

Can’t you see how much I relish my arrogance? 

Why don’t you let me be myself, I enjoy my reservations?

Why do you bring me down to honest & difficult conversations?


I am incapable of feeling what you feel, after all, it's your self-created image of mine. Not my fault again.


What do you need from me and what more can I give 

I already gave you the attention, that little romantic tension, 

Those sweet little gestures you crave, needless to mention

And funnily enough, I never realized the harm they did, to you. Anyways that was never my intention.


Afterall this is not even my story, this is your story do not drag me into this. Please! 


Why are you so demanding! Your asks are increasing with the age 

You ask me to do stuff that needs effort, time and courage 

You ask me to go deep inside, talk to myself, own my actions, find real reasons and not be a jerk

You ask me to be vulnerable and humble. Come on that's too much work. 


Ok, let me do the right thing eventually.


Yes! I should have done this years ago, but here I am telling you, loud and clear on your face

to run fast and far, stay away, never return, never talk to me or chase

I look like I am sorted and brave but deep inside I am hollow & I can’t feel pain

Listen, do not try to fix me, if you think you can, you are wrong. Again!

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